A Desperate Need (story)

I look up at each wrist. Each one is secured in a fur-lined, heavy leather cuff, padlocked in. A chain goes from each cuff, upwards, to the top of the bedpost, pulling each arm taut.

Looking down at my ankles, it is much the same way. Each leg pulled towards one side of the bed. Making my legs strain a little.

I look down, to my left, and on the table are the instruments that she will want to use tonight. A flogger, my favorite crop, nipple clamps, a nice-sized vibe if I am good; a cane if I am bad. And the knife that she will use to cut away the black lace bra and panties, leaving me in just in black heels.

The gag in my mouth is cruel. A hard, bit gag, pulled tightly into the corners of my small mouth. Forcing my tiny, pink tongue down, unable to make words, just whimpers, moans and screams of delight and pain.

Mistress walks towards me. Looking severe and seductive. A long, black skirt with a slit up one side. White, long-sleeved blouse, buttoned up collar. Black kid gloves on. Powerfully red lips and blue eyes with her dark hair up and off her lovely neck.

Her boots make noise as she walks towards me. Very loud on the wood floor. She looks stern, almost angry. Powerful. My heart races a bit more between lust and fear. She's different tonight; not sure why. I'm hoping that she finds me a good girl and not use the cane on my bottom.

She comes right up to me. Looks down at me, face unreadable. She reaches behind me and undoes the gag. I'm nervous, she always makes me wear a gag through the whole session. She roughly rips the bit out of my mouth. I work my jaw a little. She tosses the gag to one side, glaring at me.

She reaches behind me and grabs my short, brown hair. She violently pulls my head back, delicious pain surprising me and exciting me; I gasp out loud.

Her other, gloved hand grabs my chin and her fingers dig into my cheeks. She's holding my head in place. With clenched teeth, she shakes my head once, twice...violently. I'm scared, I don't know what's happening, why is my Mistress acting like this...she moves to shake my head once more.

Instead, her hand releases my hair. It cradles the back of my head. The other hand lets go of me face and caresses it, still holding my chin, but gently, and she kisses me.

She closes her eyes. Her lips land on mine. Oh, they are so soft...she presses them to me, just her lips, it's so gentle and lovely. Her hands on my head holding and caressing me. She pulls away slowly and her eyes slide open to look at me.

My knees go weak. I'm melting. I smell the jasmine on her. I see her blue eyes, so soft now, red lips parted. Her hands leaving me and I don't have the strength to tell her not to.

She looks at me. And she's scared. She's actually trembling. My Mistress is trembling.

She is shaking as she whispers to me, “Please...please say yes...oh, please say yes...”

Too many words are choked off in my throat. I do the only thing I can. I nod to my Mistress. I find that I'm smiling a little as I do it. I nod yes for her.

With a small sound she slips her arm around my waist. Her hand in my hair, pulling me forward to her, the smell of jasmine, her body on mine, she kisses me so, so, so deeply that I give up to her. Everything. I give her all of me, and then I close my eyes as I feel her tears on my cheeks.

Oh, Mistress...if I had known...if you had told me...I would have said yes long ago...oh, my poor and beautiful Mistress...you have me now...it'll be okay...you have me in your arms...it'll be okay....I'm here now... 

The Gag and the Crop (story)

I kneel before her, looking up into her feline eyes, trying so hard not to beg her to let me cum this time.

She has me in black lace tonight. Panties and bra. Black stocking and my little feet in black heels. My brown hair is slicked back, face made up, a special shade of red for my lips. She put on the collar with the single silver ring and put a leash on me; I am her pet tonight.

My ankles are in snug, fur-lined heavy, leather cuffs. A spreader bar keeps me from closing my legs together. My hands are also in similar cuffs, with small padlocks locking me in. A belt above and below my chest are pinning my arms to my back. So, so, so tight yet still comfortable.

I lick my lips as she taps the crop into the palm of her hand. She's beautiful. Soft, blonde hair piled up off the back of her neck (oh, I so want to kiss her there), blue eyes that make me melt...and her lips...oh, god...I want her lips all over me...

She turns back to the table. Her boots click on the floor and I have sudden urge to want to lick them, taste the leather, submit and clean them with my tiny, pink tongue. She teases me a little as she wiggles her behind, tight skirt forming perfectly on her. She comes back, dangling a ball gag from one hand.

She holds it up to my face by the straps and commands me, “Lick it. Now.”

I obediently lean forward, my eyes never leaving her face, and that tiny tongue of mine flicks out and the tip touches the red ball of the gag. My eyes go half-lidded as I slowly lick the ball, I make small, sighs and moans as I do it, eyes unfocused, concentrating on the taste of the rubber.

She pulls it away and I pout a little. She brings it back and commands me again, “Kiss it. Now.”

I let out a little “oh” and lean forward, close my eyes, and press my lips on the ball and I keep them there. I want this ball in my mouth. I need this ball in my mouth. After a long moment, I lean back, lick my lips yet again and look up the goddess who wants t hurt me.

“Open your mouth. Now.”

I open my small mouth as wide as I can. It isn't much. But I try. I look at her as she slowly moves the gag to my tiny mouth. She stops just as the ball touches my lower lip. I let out a pleading noise; no words, just a needy sound. She smiles in an evil manner.

She uses her thumb to slowly...oh, so slowly...push the ball into my mouth. It goes past my teeth. It forces itself on my glistening tongue. My eyes roll back in ecstasy. When I open them again...the whole world is hazy and a million miles away.

She pulls on the straps behind my head. The leather straps put pressure on my cheeks before they cruelly cut in. The ball is almost to the back of my throat. I simply kneel, looking ahead vacantly, making soft noises, against my own will.

She walks to the table again. I am lost in subspace. I don't care about anything but the pressure of the restraints. I can't move. I can't control anything. I don't want to control anything. The only thing I really want is this forever; bound, gagged and a lovely woman who will both give me pain and pleasure.

She gently lifts my chin with the crop. She brought it back. The crop glides over my gagged lips, the gag. It softly touches my cheeks. I move my head into the crop, savoring the smell of the leather. It moves under my chin and down my neck, over the collar.

It tickles me as she brings it to my bosom. She has a light touch. She strokes me there with the crop. Softly, so softly...I anticipate the the sting of it. But she strikes my breasts. Instead, she teases me as she works her way back up. She finally rests it on one cheek.

She bends over and I smell jasmine. I love that smell. It makes me want her even more. With the crop on one cheek, she caresses the other with her hand.

The sting on my face surprises me. I can feel my cheek heat up under the crop. She viciously turns my head and strikes my other cheek. This time, I moan so loudly and my hips buck. It feels sooooo good...

She strikes me again and this time, when I moan out a plea to fuck me, drool spills over my chin and plops onto the floor.

She stops striking my face. My chest is heaving and I want her so bad. I want her to make me do it, to make me cum for her. I nod at her when she pulls on the leash. Wide-eyed, ready, I look up at her...wanting, wanting, oh my god, wanting so badly....

She giggles and steps back. She appraises me for a moment, crop tapping on her leg. She shakes her head, “No. Not tonight. You don't deserve to cum, you silly cunt.”

She turns on her heels and walks to the door, “Any last words? I won't be back for thirty minutes...”

I plead and beg with my eyes, leaning forward, belts pushing and pulling against me, my gag pulling inwards, I manage one gagged message, “Plsh....plsh...plsh...”

I repeat it over and over, warm drool cascading down, getting more and more frantic as she slowly closes the door until I start to cry as the lock clicks.

“Plsh...plsh...mmoh, plsh...plsh...plsh...”

Something to Think About....(erotica)

You have me all dressed up in the black kimono that you bought me.

You love making the ropes so tight on me. You like to hear them creak when you pull them, cutting into the cloth, pressing into me so cruelly. You get that lovely and evil grin when you hear me moan as every knot is tied. You savor my whimpers as you push and pull on the ropes, both of us knowing that the aches will soon start and the sighing and moaning will never stop until you let me go...if you ever let me go...if I even want you to let me go.

My small, pink tongue lightly licks at my lips. The gag...the ever delicious gag you will fill my tiny mouth with. But you just shake your head at me. You tell me that I don't get the gag because I don't deserve it...I've been bad...

So, it will be a punishment tonight. But you have me all dressed up, all bound up so tight...the punishment won't be about destroying me...just to tease me...to work me up...to make me beg you with my eyes, small lips slightly parted, breathing heavily, almost panting...you won't let me speak, to beg you for the gag I want, the pleasures you can give me, that I crave...

You caress my face with the crop, feeling the leather glide over my cheeks, whispering against my skin...wanting you to strike my face, to feel the sting...knowing that I will soon feel it...everywhere...small stings making me jerk against the ropes...sharp strikes that make me wordlessly cry out...whimper...the tears welling up in my eyes...at that point you don't even need me to speak...

You'll simply let my body feel tight inside, against the ropes, skin tingling with the blows...getting so, so, so wet...and then...you'll just leave....

And I have to lay here and cry softly until you decide to let me have the pleasure....

Don't you want to hit me?

I've been bad...such a very, very bad girl.

You need to pull me by my leash, have me crawl behind you, my paddle in my mouth. Like a good, little, bad girl.

I know you want me over your knee. Bending over, ass angled upwards just right. You want to caress my bare bottom, watch the goosebumps rise. You want me to shake in anticipation, whimper as I wonder when you will take the paddle from my mouth...

And once you, do, when you order me to drop it in your hand, as I sniff because I know what's coming, you bring it down hard, quickly, a large slap fills the room. You watch my ass move with the blow and wait for the redness to blossom...listening to my cry and getting soooo turned on as I writhe and moan with each, punishing and deserved hit...

And just as I am about to beg you to stop, just as I am about to beg you to let me cum, just as I am about demand through clenched teeth that you do me like a whore...you pull my hair and hiss in my ear, "Fucking slut..."

I've been bad...such a very, very bad girl...don't you want me to be your bad girl?

Fifty Shades of Grey...a Review...

Ok, before we press on, I have to issue the following:

SPOILER ALERTS!!! SPOILER ALERTS!!!  SPOILER ALERTS!!!!

You have been warned...read at your own risk...ok...deep breath...fuck, ok, here we go...

For those of you who know me, or more to the point, have encountered me on Fetlife, you know how much I hated...fucking hated...this series of erotic fiction that turned into a huge ass best-seller despite it being poorly molded into book form from poorly written fan-fiction by an adult admirer of Twilight...fucking Twilight!!!!

I hated reading the series so much.  Part of it being that it felt like that the author, E.L. James, simply came over to Fetlife and ripped off all of us who like to write erotic stories...and did an incredibly bad job of it.  I was so angry and disgusted by the success of a hack who appeared to rip off the numerous writers, and made me feel that what I was writing was just crap as well, that I decided to stop writing fiction.  This is how much I hated the books.

So, I saw the movie tonight.

Sigh, I know, I know.  But sometimes, when you've invested yourself in something, it's really hard to stop.  I sort of put myself in the category of Twilight-haters who still saw all the movies in the theatre;  we bought into the hate and came to the darkside.  That's the best way I can describe why I watched this move.

So, let's start off with the good stuff...yes, there were good points to the movie.  Even for a hater like me!!!

The soundtrack to this movie is going to be a must-have.  You will *love* it.  The best way I can describe it is that I would use it for my Grabbed & Gagged videos!!  I will be buying the soundtrack when it comes out.  Even if you never watch the movie or read the books...you will like it anyway!!

There are numerous, erotic scenes that go on.  They are well-choreographed and the persons hired to run the scenes are (and according to the credits) pretty professional.  They are sexy.  They are hot.  They are worth the price of admission.  Now, just to let you know, those of us who are hardcore into this...it's going to be pretty tame...but when looked at as individual scenes (which is how this movie should be viewed anyway)...they will at the very least cause a raised eyebrow and a twitch of a knowing smile...

Otherwise.  The movie is not that great and you should probably wait to stream it, but...it's not a steaming pile of crap that the books were.  This movie could've been better if James let the director move the movie at his own pace and direction, but she, like most authors, felt she would know better how it would look on the big screen than the actual director.

So, you get some awful dialogue.  Certain elements move too fast, like how Ana suddenly starts having relationship doubts and causes drama at a family dinner...when the relationship hasn't even started yet.  Then there is the whole lack of understanding of how a proper D&S relationship works and how you probably shouldn't treat a woman's virginity as something to get out of the way so you can involve in her D&S and BDSM a mere couple of days after deflowering her...

The majority of the audience...mostly women who have NO experience with kinky sex of ANY kind...are treated to how NOT to introduce someone into that world...and they won't know that no sane top would do some of the things that James suggests is done in such a relationship.  There were moments when I actually muttered things like "This is when you run away screaming for help!" or "Taser!  Taser!"

And of course...the movie sends the same message as the books drummed out repeatedly;  isn't all this kinky stuff and exciting, but really...you have to be somehow damaged or insecure to actually engage in it.

None of this is normal.  You have to be damaged somehow (in the book and in the movie, every time Grey takes his shirt off you see scars of cigarette burns on his chest), physically and emotionally to be a top.  While you derive *some* pleasure from it, really, you are compelled to do it because you are a control freak.  As a woman who willingly signs a contract...there is something weak about you.  In essence...it's okay to get tied to the bed every now and again...but to make it something more..well, as the horrible quote from both the book and movie goes, you have to admit the following, "I am fifty shades of fucked up."

And for those of you, like me, who love doing these things, knowing you aren't fucked up because simply because you like it, you get insulted at the end when Ana "forces" Grey to do his worst on her to better "understand" all of this and he obliges her and beats her with a braided belt and is stunned when she leaves him at the end...don't worry...there are two more movies after this one...

So.  While there is much to like in terms of individual scenes (and that playroom is pretty fucking awesome) and the music...the story, the dialogue and plot...and the lousy message leave much to be desired for.  Watch it for the scenes, you will get your money's worth...ignore the rest.

Trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQERFnGvi_A

Trailer with Steve Buscemi:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnGX4FuIK60

Trailer with Legos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7AvZPTT4kU

Bondage Time!

For starters, me getting the gag!

My predicament!

Crop time!  I think I kinda like it...

Begging to be let go!

Struggling!

This was my most recent tie up that was NOT self bondage.  It's a lot of fun when you are TRULY helpless!!!

As always, a thank you to Blue, aka Bluemoon, for helping me out.  And no, Blue is not my boyfriend in case you are wondering. ;)  

Hope you enjoyed these clips!

My poor bum...

Getting the crop on my butt: